Is it a smart choice to have FOUR wives?

Discussion in 'The Pavilion' started by Del, Feb 4, 2019.

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  1. Disco Lemonade
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    Disco Lemonade Design Artist

    Dec 17, 2009
    5,754
    It is a complex question since marriage has more cultural effects than religious. For example having four wives is allowed in Islam, so you would expect in countries like Pakistan, atleast religious people would take full advantage of it. But it is seldom practiced over here aswell as similar countries to Pakistan. I dont think it is practiced by all arabs even in Arab countries apart from the royals over there, that could be because they can afford it, or they are following the cultural practice of their forefathers.
    Another example is marrying a woman older than your age, which is almost taboo in Pakistan and similar muslim countries, reason is cultural. Same goes for marrying independent business woman. Both is actually sunnah but muslims even the hardliners find it hard to do.
    I did use to hear about my ancestors marrying more than once, so in past muslims of India did marry more than once, but mostly when/if the first wife would die, which happened more often than today due to less medical facilities at the time, that could be one of the reasons.

    To the question if it is a smart choice, i would rephrase it to marry more than once rather than marrying four times. There are three main reasons to marry, financial, cultural and emotional. In no particular order.
    Financial
    Perspective: Islamic
    It is a islamic belief that Prophet said, marrying could make your financial conditions better. People quote various hadees aswell. At my workplace, people give me examples of how their financial conditions changed after they got married. Ofcourse it is not magic, there is logical explanation to it. The general trend is to get married when you get stable into any job after getting a degree, so naturally one is bound to make more money, get promotions after marriage.
    Another belief is that anyone who adds to your family bring his/her own rizq, incase of a wife or a child. Logical explanation? please refer above. You can give exceptional examples and make it seem spiritual.
    Perspective: Smart
    If you are poor with a wife and children and barely able to make ends meet, consider marrying again to a stable business/working woman, probably someone who could not marry earlier or a divorcee for whatever reasons. That would Still, no dowry please.
     
  2. Mercenary
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    Mercenary The Lone Wolf

    Dec 17, 2009
    16,690
    The main thing is that 4 wives is not a natural order of things for human beings. There are not 4 times as many women as there are men. It is roughly 50/50 so one woman for one man.

    In fact in the current world and mostly in Muslim countries there are more men then there are women. So it's not really a practical solution.
     
  3. Disco Lemonade
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    Disco Lemonade Design Artist

    Dec 17, 2009
    5,754
    Yes the justification given on ratio (i heard zakir naik doing it once) is not valid.
    Maybe the ratio was out during that time. but then Islam is for all time, age, and people.
    Means it could be valid for that time only, like the women slave thing.
     
  4. Mercenary
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    Mercenary The Lone Wolf

    Dec 17, 2009
    16,690
    It's unlikely there was such a huge difference in ratio. If anything it would be the other way.

    In previous times many women would die in childbirth. Even today with hospitals and modern medicine, there are hundreds of thousands of cases annually where women die in childbirth.

    Also we have to bear in mind that according to Islamic sources the pre Islamic Arabs used to kill their female children which Islam stopped. The Pre Islamic Arabs gave women no rights, beat them mercilessly (Islam moderated that), have them no inheritance or rights of divorce or any legal standing in court. So the ratio would be even lower in those areas.

    Although this contradicts the idea that men had unlimited wives pre Islam and Islam limited it to 4 but I've never found that credible anyway.


    It's valid for all time, you can't make the halal into haram.
     

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