Jokes - Thread

Discussion in 'The Pavilion' started by Don Quixote, Jan 25, 2017.

  1. Don Quixote
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    Don Quixote Whispering Death

    Nov 13, 2015
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    A beautiful woman entered an auto workshop and asked for a 'seven-hundred- ten'.

    All looked at each other, and the mechanic asked, "What is a seven-hundred- ten?"

    She replied, "You know, the little piece in the middle of the engine. I lost it and need a new one. It had always been there."

    The mechanic gave the woman a piece of paper and a pen and asked her to draw what the piece looked like. She drew a circle and in the middle of it wrote 710 !!

    The mechanic was clueless, all other workers one by one took the paper and tried to figure out, but none could understand it. Finally the mechanic took the lady over to another car which had the hood up and asked, "Is there a 710 on this car?"

    She pointed and said, "Of course, it's right there."

    mechanic fainted, yet not recovered from shock !!

    Now go to the photo below to learn what a 710 is...


    IMG_0144.JPG

    Keep the jokes coming :D
     
  2. Mohsin
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    Mohsin Cornered Tiger

    Feb 21, 2010
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    [​IMG]
     
  3. Don Quixote
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    Don Quixote Whispering Death

    Nov 13, 2015
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    ^ ha ha this not being a joke was itself a joke :D
     
  4. Patriot
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    Patriot Kaptaan

    Oct 8, 2014
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    A gorilla walks into a bar and says, "A scotch on the rocks, please." The gorilla hands the bartender a $10 bill.

    The bartender thinks to himself, "This gorilla doesn't know the prices of drinks," and gives him 15 cents change.

    The bartender says, "You know, we don't get too many gorillas in here."

    The gorilla replies, "Well, at $9.85 a drink, I ain't coming back, either."
     
  5. Don Quixote
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    Don Quixote Whispering Death

    Nov 13, 2015
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    ^^ didnt get this at all ha ha :D
     
  6. Desi_Joker
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    Desi_Joker Fantasy Draft Wins: 1

    Jun 18, 2012
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    Why do French tanks have a rear view mirror?

    So that they can see the battle.

    What do you call it when the new US president, Donald Trump, waves his hand at the crowd?

    A microwave
     
    Last edited: Jan 26, 2017
  7. Patriot
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    Patriot Kaptaan

    Oct 8, 2014
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    Bartender thought gorilla was dumb so she charged him more but turns out gorilla wasn't


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
     
  8. Don Quixote
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    Don Quixote Whispering Death

    Nov 13, 2015
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    Ha ha.
     
  9. Don Quixote
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    Don Quixote Whispering Death

    Nov 13, 2015
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    Ha ha. Damn not funny :D
     
  10. Patriot
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    Patriot Kaptaan

    Oct 8, 2014
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    one day a man was passing the jungle,

    all the animals were laughing except the donkey

    the next day when he was passing the jungle, only the donkey was laughing

    the man asked the other animals about the reason, they replied

    "Yesterday a joke was told but it took a whole day for the donkey to understand"

    ha ha :D
     
  11. aliasad1998
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    aliasad1998 Youngsta Beauty

    Dec 7, 2016
    138
    One night Little Johnny was really scared sleeping by himself at camp, so he sprints out of his tent and runs to his teachers tent and asks "Miss can I please sleep with you tonight ?".

    His teacher replies "NO"

    Johnny moans and says "But my mummy lets me".

    "OK then, just for tonight" the teacher replies.

    Johnny jumps into bed with her and asks "Miss can I please play with your belly button with my finger".

    She again says "NO".

    "But my mummy lets me" says Johnny again.

    "Well I suppose it's OK" replies the teacher.

    Things are silent for a few minutes until the teacher leaps up screaming "THAT'S NOT MY BELLY BUTTON"

    Little Johnny replies "It aint my finger either".
     
  12. Patriot
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    Patriot Kaptaan

    Oct 8, 2014
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  13. ElRaja
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    ElRaja Talented

    Jan 12, 2013
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    i told that joke at a school event when i was a kid :D
     
  14. Mohan
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    Mohan Formerly 'Captain Clutch'

    Nov 4, 2014
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    Astaghfirullah :moyo
     
  15. Prince Pathan
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    Prince Pathan Fantasy Draft Wins: 1

    Aug 31, 2011
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    Little El Raja was a besharam
     
  16. Prince Pathan
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    Prince Pathan Fantasy Draft Wins: 1

    Aug 31, 2011
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    A man gets onto a city bus and sees an attractive nun. Wanting to mate with her, he goes up and asks,Will you have sexy time with me?

    "Of course not!" the nun said unnervingly and got off the bus

    Before the depressed man left the bus, the bus driver stops him and says, I know how you can get her: On Sundays, she prays at the local cemetery. While shes praying, dress as God and she will be yours. Put on a mask, robes, and a lot of glitter

    That Sunday, the man takes the advice, gets into the costume and hides behind a gravestone. Shortly, the nun appears and prays.

    The man pops out from the gravestone and declares, I am God, and I command you to make love with me.

    The nun replies, "Sure, but only anal is that fine?
    Even better screamed the man.

    So they do it.

    After the deed is done, the man rips off his mask and laughs, haha I am not God! I am that man from the bus! Haha

    Immediately the nun rips off her mask and says
    "Ha HA! I'm the bus driver!
     
  17. aliasad1998
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    aliasad1998 Youngsta Beauty

    Dec 7, 2016
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    Daaaaaamn didn't see that coming. Good one
     
  18. Patriot
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    Patriot Kaptaan

    Oct 8, 2014
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    rofl rofl rofl rofl
     
  19. Prince Pathan
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    Prince Pathan Fantasy Draft Wins: 1

    Aug 31, 2011
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    An elementary school teacher, a lawyer, a Catholic priest and three young boys are on a plane with only three parachutes. Engines explode, plane starts going down.

    The teacher says, Do not worry about me 'Save the children!'

    The lawyer yells, I will think about myself 'F**K THE CHILDREN!'

    The Catholic priest looks around and whispers,
    'Is there time?'
     
  20. Don Quixote
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    Don Quixote Whispering Death

    Nov 13, 2015
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  21. Prince Pathan
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    Prince Pathan Fantasy Draft Wins: 1

    Aug 31, 2011
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    Look up Catholic priests and the word scandal beside it
     
  22. MNA
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    MNA Smooth Operator

    Mar 11, 2015
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    He wouldn't get it even if reads about it!
     
  23. Patriot
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    Patriot Kaptaan

    Oct 8, 2014
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    why can't eggs tell jokes

    because they crack each other up
     
  24. Donal Cozzie
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    Donal Cozzie Tracer Bullet

    Nov 4, 2014
    7,201
    What can a pizza do that a black man can't

    Feed a family of 3
     
  25. Red Devil
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    Red Devil Fantasy Draft Wins: 1

    Dec 15, 2013
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    A man walks into a bar and sees a sign that says "Cheese Sandwiches $1" and then below that, another sign that reads "Handjobs $2". He looks around for the bartender but the only other person he can see is a really attractive woman, about 25 years old, with huge tits, at the end of the bar.

    He walks up to her and asks "Excuse me, but are you the one who gives the handjobs?" She replies in a sexy voice, "Why yes, I am". To which he immediately responds "Well go wash your hands then, I want a sandwich.
     
  26. Rhythm
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    Rhythm Cornered Tiger

    Nov 27, 2014
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    Have you ever met a black person, Adrak?
     
  27. SwingNSeam
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    SwingNSeam Boom Boom

    Sep 12, 2010
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    @Patriot yaad kerwadiya
     
  28. Red Devil
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    Red Devil Fantasy Draft Wins: 1

    Dec 15, 2013
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    Lool that's kinda harsh.
     
  29. SwingNSeam
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    SwingNSeam Boom Boom

    Sep 12, 2010
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    Say pencil
     
  30. Donal Cozzie
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    Donal Cozzie Tracer Bullet

    Nov 4, 2014
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    Duh, it was a joke. An offensive one but a joke nonetheless.

    Here I'll do one about Ireland then.

    How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman?

    None.
     
  31. Red Devil
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    Red Devil Fantasy Draft Wins: 1

    Dec 15, 2013
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    Lmao legendary set up.

    @Patriot man post some of those legendary shalwar jokes here rofl
     
  32. Rhythm
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    Rhythm Cornered Tiger

    Nov 27, 2014
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    No, I'm asking is it common to see black people in Ireland?
     
  33. Donal Cozzie
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    Donal Cozzie Tracer Bullet

    Nov 4, 2014
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    Somewhat. Depends on location. Dublin yes, tonnes of foreigners there. Outside Dublin or out in the country you see them occasionally but not particularly often.

    In my secondary school group of about 100 odd students only 1 of them was black.
     
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  34. SwingNSeam
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    SwingNSeam Boom Boom

    Sep 12, 2010
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    Hahahaha

    How about that doodh ka doodh joke
     
  35. Munna
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    Munna Moderator-e-Aala

    Oct 4, 2014
    28,342
    I could only imagine @Patriot driving that bus
     
  36. Donal Cozzie
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    Donal Cozzie Tracer Bullet

    Nov 4, 2014
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    Nah, if he was it would've crashed and ended the joke after the second line
     
  37. Prince Pathan
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    Prince Pathan Fantasy Draft Wins: 1

    Aug 31, 2011
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    Its all fun and games till somebody makes a black joke lol
     
  38. Donal Cozzie
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    Donal Cozzie Tracer Bullet

    Nov 4, 2014
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    Why did the Pathan cross the road??

    It wasn't a road, it was the Durand Line.
     
  39. Mohsin
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    Mohsin Cornered Tiger

    Feb 21, 2010
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    :thumbsup
     
  40. Donal Cozzie
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    Donal Cozzie Tracer Bullet

    Nov 4, 2014
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    Why did Mohsin cross the road??

    ISI official was on the other side

    :p :p
     

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