Jokes - Thread

Discussion in 'The Pavilion' started by Don Quixote, Jan 25, 2017.

  1. Mohan
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    Mohan Formerly 'Captain Clutch'

    Nov 4, 2014
    4,220
    Wasim to Saqlain: Tu gym mei kya karne gaya tha? LOL.

    And this video also explains why Wasim does not advice Pakistani youngster beauties.

     
  2. Patriot
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    Patriot Kaptaan

    Oct 8, 2014
    26,057
    Pappu: Babe, thought I should call you. You must be missing me

    Wife: and what about the fight on the breakfast table ?

    Pappu: shiz....i dialed home
     
  3. Fireworks11
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    Fireworks11 Fantasy Draft Wins: 1

    Sep 22, 2012
    31,185
    - Baby what are we doing for valentines?

    - well I didn't want to tell you before but do you like Paris?

    - Yes!!

    - and Barcelona???

    - omg yes!!!

    - ok tonight champions league at 19:45 PSG - Barca
     
  4. Don Quixote
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    Don Quixote Whispering Death

    Nov 13, 2015
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    Lol.
     
  5. Fireworks11
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    Fireworks11 Fantasy Draft Wins: 1

    Sep 22, 2012
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    IMG_1884.JPG
     
  6. Don Quixote
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    Don Quixote Whispering Death

    Nov 13, 2015
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    ^^^ ha ha. Saw this a while ago :D
     
  7. Don Quixote
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    Don Quixote Whispering Death

    Nov 13, 2015
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  8. Fireworks11
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    Fireworks11 Fantasy Draft Wins: 1

    Sep 22, 2012
    31,185
    This khajoor/date joke gets rinsed every Ramadan lol.
     
  9. Mohan
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    Mohan Formerly 'Captain Clutch'

    Nov 4, 2014
    4,220
    God has never tasted cough syrup, because "Khuda na khasta" :D
     
  10. Mohan
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    Mohan Formerly 'Captain Clutch'

    Nov 4, 2014
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    How does a girl say "I laughed yesterday" in Urdu/Hindi?

    "Michael Hussey" :D
     
  11. Mohan
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    Mohan Formerly 'Captain Clutch'

    Nov 4, 2014
    4,220
    My watch is stuck between 2 and 2:30.

    It's a DO OR DHAI situation :D
     
  12. Patriot
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    Patriot Kaptaan

    Oct 8, 2014
    26,057
    A girl was struggling in her accounting course

    A boy offered help

    Girl told her to get lost


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
     
  13. Don Quixote
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    Don Quixote Whispering Death

    Nov 13, 2015
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    Ha ha.
     
  14. Don Quixote
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    Don Quixote Whispering Death

    Nov 13, 2015
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    Didnt get it :D
     
  15. Patriot
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    Patriot Kaptaan

    Oct 8, 2014
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    its encrypted.
     
  16. Desi_Joker
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    Desi_Joker Fantasy Draft Wins: 1

    Jun 18, 2012
    7,361


    Saw this yesterday, and was literally laughing out loud about the Dravid-Akhtar interaction.

    Akhtar is a really funny bloke.
     
  17. Mohan
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    Mohan Formerly 'Captain Clutch'

    Nov 4, 2014
    4,220
  18. Mohan
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    Mohan Formerly 'Captain Clutch'

    Nov 4, 2014
    4,220
  19. SwingNSeam
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    SwingNSeam Boom Boom

    Sep 12, 2010
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  20. Mohan
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    Mohan Formerly 'Captain Clutch'

    Nov 4, 2014
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    I am married so hard luck with the Shaadi Cancel :D
     
  21. Red Devil
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    Red Devil Fantasy Draft Wins: 1

    Dec 15, 2013
    8,611
  22. Patriot
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    Patriot Kaptaan

    Oct 8, 2014
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    I don't get it ?
     
  23. maddgenius
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    maddgenius Fantasy Draft Wins: 4

    Oct 6, 2014
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  24. Red Devil
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    Red Devil Fantasy Draft Wins: 1

    Dec 15, 2013
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    A polar bear walks into a bar and asks the bartender "I'd like a gin................ and tonic."

    The bartender asks the bear, "Why the big pause?"

    The bear responds, "I dunno... I've always had them." Rofl.
     
  25. Don Quixote
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    Don Quixote Whispering Death

    Nov 13, 2015
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    ^^ It was like tea without sugar :D

    Didn't get it.
     
  26. Mohsin
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    Mohsin Cornered Tiger

    Feb 21, 2010
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    Pause aka paws man
     
  27. maddgenius
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    maddgenius Fantasy Draft Wins: 4

    Oct 6, 2014
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    [​IMG]
     
  28. Patriot
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    Patriot Kaptaan

    Oct 8, 2014
    26,057
    Umar Akmal doesn't eat rice, bread, pepsi, briyani and oily things for 8 months

    He gains more weight
     
  29. Red Devil
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    Red Devil Fantasy Draft Wins: 1

    Dec 15, 2013
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    You people deserve @Patriot and his pencil jokes smh.
     
  30. Mohammed Bilal
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    Mohammed Bilal Tracer Bullet

    Jul 17, 2017
    7,259
    I’ve been collecting stories that have been told among inner circles by their people which reveals they have a pretty good sense of humour but a cynical attitude towards the way things are done. And I told this one in the car and Elaine you’ll have to hear this one again but I didn’t tell this one to Mick. You know there is a ten year delay in the delivery of an automobile in the island of I think it was Cape Verde and only one out of seven families in the island own a automobile, there’s a ten year wait and you go through quite a process. When you’re ready to buy and then you put up the money in advance, and this happened to a lady and this is their story that they tell, this joke. That this woman she laid down her money and then the fellow that was in charge said ‘okay, come back in ten years and get your car’ and she said ‘morning or afternoon’ and the fellow behind the counter said ‘well ten years from now, what difference does it make?’ And she said ‘well the plumber’s coming in the morning’.

    I just want to, oh I can’t resist. I’m supposed to quit right here.

    But in view of the past things I’ve said I guess I have a new hobby, I am collecting stories that have been told among a few people that is told among themselves that reveals they have a good sense of humour and have a little cynical attitude about things and one of these stories that I’m going to tell you I think I told Mick and he...... laughed. The story was an American and a Russian arguing about their two countries and the American said ‘look in my country I can walk into the Oval Office and pound the Presidents desk and say Mr President I don’t like the way you’re running our country’ and the Russian said ‘I can do that’ the American said ‘you can?’ He says ‘yes, I can go into the Kremlin to the General Secretaries office, pound his desk and say Mr General Secretary I don’t like the way President Trump is running his country’.

    You know in China most of the automobiles are driven by the bureaucrats, the government furnishes them with drivers and so forth. So an order went out one day to the police that anyone caught speeding. Anyone no matter who gets a ticket. Well Jinping came out of his country home, in his Edsel, he was late getting to the office there was his limousine and driver waiting. He told the driver to get in the backseat he’d drive and down the road he went. They past two motorcycle cops, one took out after him and pretty soon he’s back with his buddy and his buddy says ‘well did you give him a ticket’ and he says ‘no’ ‘What’ he says ‘why not’ ‘oh’ he says ‘too important’ ‘well’ he said ‘we’re told to give anybody a ticket no matter who it is’ ‘Oh’ he said ‘oh no no this one was too...... I could’ and he said ‘who was it’ he said ‘I couldn’t recognise him but his driver was Jinping’.

    The most recent one I’ve heard about the man walking along the street at night in Serbia, So the soldier called him to halt so he started to run so the soldier shot him and another man said ‘why did you do that?’ ‘well’ he said ‘Curfew’ ‘well’ he said ‘it isn’t curfew yet’ he said ‘I know, he’s a friend of mine I know where he lives, he couldn’t have made it’

    I’ve heard one about a fellow who went to the Research and analysis wing in India to report that he had lost his parrot so RAW asked him why he was bothering them why didn’t he just report it to the local police. ‘Well’ he answered ‘I just want you to know that I don’t agree with a thing my parrot has to say’

    Which makes me think of a story, everything makes me think of a story hmmmm about three dogs an English dog an Indian dog and a Chinese dog and they were all having a visit and the English dog was telling them about how things were in this country he said ‘you know, you bark you have to bark long enough and somebody comes along and gives you some meat’ and the Indian dog said ‘what’s meat?’. The Chinese dog said ‘what’s bark?’.

    I have to interrupt you right here on one of my listenings I won’t tell you his name - I don’t want to embarrass him but he gave me one while I was on the way, told me the story about the two fellows in the people’s republic of China who were walking down the street and one of them says ‘have we really achieved full communism, is this it, is this now full communism’ and the other one said ‘oh hell no, things are going to get a lot worse’.
     
    Last edited: May 3, 2020
  31. Red Devil
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    Red Devil Fantasy Draft Wins: 1

    Dec 15, 2013
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    Some gems in here mostly from yours truly.
     
  32. Mohsin
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    Mohsin Cornered Tiger

    Feb 21, 2010
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    This comment still made me laugh loool
     
  33. Munna
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    Munna Moderator-e-Aala

    Oct 4, 2014
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  34. Shahzad.Firdous
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    Shahzad.Firdous Cornered Tiger

    May 29, 2010
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