Hi Guest we're sorry for the downtime but the site should be up and working now...
Discussion in 'The Pavilion' started by Saj, Jan 28, 2013.
Those are wise words indeed. Something to ponder.
yes I m definitely sure ..no feelings at all for first cousins
I honestly think it`s fine. As long as it`s not overly done, i.e., 5 sets of cousins from the same general family marrying one another. That could lead to problems in the kid.
In my family though several cousins have married each other and their kids have turned out fine. I disagree with the notion that cousins are like siblings--yes they`re very close but no they`re not that close neither. Actually when I was young (about 10 years old) for some unspecified reason I had this idea that you could only marry your cousin, I have no idea why though lol
True but as long as you don`t make it a habit (for example 3 consecutive generations marrying cousins) I don`t think (and I admit I have no expertise on the matter) there`s much of a risk at all.
Nobody said sister, they said cousin
There are two ways of looking at it. One is from your personal point of view without any care about society and your family members. Love may occur and then you may not love anyone else but your cousin. This can occur to anyone regarless of your family traditions. It can occur in families which have no history of cousin marriages at all and it may not happen in families with that history even if parents are forcing you to marry.
The other way of looking at it is from the point of view of other people surrounding you. Cousin marriages can actually ruin things for a lot of people. First of all you lose a cousin friend lol, secondly it may get very weird for your other cousins when they wont know whether to treat your Mrs as their cousin or as Bhabhi. Many relations can get very weird you see..
I was just referring to your female first cousins not ALL first cousins. Curiouser and curiouser !
You can marry Christians, Jews, but not atheists.
Qur'an does not forbid marriage to a cousin.
Good enough for me.
I've suffered the consequences of marrying in family. Thankfully, it has now been phased out as times have changed.
Nothing wrong with it and it is perfectly fine. From experience of others I know and myself.
Cousins are na-mahrams, which means you don't [shouldn't, in theory] interact with them on daily basis. That means, they are like strangers to you.
As long as they are strangers, you shouldn't really be worried about all the issues stated above.
That was a blast from the past.
Haha, Feather married his cousin right?
Seriously? let's rub it into the guy who simply had a choice of saying 'yes'. For the record I am still not a fan of the concept. It isn't to say there hasn't been many successful marriages which were arranged and within family.
In my family alone I have five people who were arranged married out of which four are within family and I will be the 5th one. I think I have made it clear what my reservations were and after lot of discussions with friends and family...in the end I supposedly 'happily' agreed to be put down on Eid as a special Qurbani ka bakra.
Hasn't happened yet but it will in August. Couple of days after Eid. Luckily or least I think she is very smart and opinionated in fact too opinionated but that is something I always wanted in a partner. Bit young for my liking but oh well. She likes cricket...which is a big plus in fact the bigger plus is she doesn't like Afridi unlike her sister who is crazy obsessed with Lala.
She can't understand the obsession her younger sister and some of our cousins have with Afridi...so when the other day I mentioned how we won't hear the end of how Lala is so great. She quickly pointed out...we wouldn't have won without Afridi so credit should be given only to go on and say how he performs twice a year and he has already performed twice so we should be fine.
Having been on the forums for the last ten years. I think I can tell when I see a person who you can have a decent conversation with and they can be reasoned with...so I feel slightly comfortable with how things are turning out to be.
lol - such is Afridi's impact on Pakistani society that people judge their prospective partners on their opinions of the pakistani all rounder
How can any sane person suggest making Afridi the captain? or President of Pakistan for that matter? I mean seriously I would be worried if I had to hear such things from her.
Common sense should be applied to everything in life.
Because he's aggressive, reads the game well, performs, wins matches, is a good bowler, fielder and leader? Because he's the best all rounder we've ever had in LOI's?
You will be ok if she recommends Malik for same roles ..so basically it comes down to your likes and dislikes..and want to impose it on her as well.
Get a life man and have some shame.. Acting like a proper dictator.
Thank the lord I am not marrying you.
Same here :lols
Chal oye hawa an de
I couldn't care less what she thought about Malik. Like I already said...she has her own opinions and pretty firm ones too. In fact my sister and brother in law who are psychiatrist by profession were on a three week vacation in Pakistan. When they met her recently...both of them concluded for the better or worse...she is smarter then I am...lol
I am still kind of thinking...what on earth was that all about.
I would be jealous of you if that was the case because you must be marrying a teenager x
I am lost. You would be jealous because? you want to marry a teenager? or you want someone who actually likes cricket?
lol it wasnt a serious comment, relax
a bit jumpy in this thread aren't we? lol
How many here are married to cousins?
the thread starter Saj is married to his hand judging by some of those forearm workouts he mentions from time to time
It's awesome that you have started to like her and by the way you are describing her, it seems the relationship has moved a bit further from just an 'engaged' one. Good to know, marriage is necessary for getting serious about this life and it is also necessary that you like your partner.
I wouldn't marry a cousin, but you never know I may do a massive u-turn like Feather
I respect him for keeping his family happy by going through with it.
Me. Got married at a young age. It's been a tough & stressful ride. I would advise against it. But thankfully, the elders have had some sense knocked into them & is phased out.
Hmm.... Seem like the marrying in family thing since you know them doesnt sound like a good thing afterall. Many people seem to have similar experience although we shouldnt generalize ofc.