My Poetry Thread

Discussion in 'The Pavilion' started by Mohsin, Jul 30, 2012.

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  1. Mohsin
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    Mohsin Cornered Tiger

    Feb 21, 2010
    14,064
    Hey guys, ive been meaning to start writing poetry for a while but havent had the time/havent been bothered tbh. But i came back from Taraveeh last night, and suddenly was in the mood to...well start writing.
    So yeah let me know what you think (be blunt and honest), i know its probably nothing special and quite short but it is my first ever poem lol.


    poem1.jpg
     
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  2. Passionate Pakistani
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    Passionate Pakistani The Don

    Jun 10, 2011
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  3. Venerable
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    Venerable Youngsta Beauty

    Jun 22, 2012
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  4. pak_fan_4_life
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    pak_fan_4_life Talented

    May 14, 2012
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    Excellent, why arent u my english tuition teacher???
     
  5. Mohsin
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    Mohsin Cornered Tiger

    Feb 21, 2010
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    Thanks guys appreciate it....lol i can be if you offer the right price pak_fan_4_life :D
     
  6. pak_fan_4_life
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    pak_fan_4_life Talented

    May 14, 2012
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    Id have given anything but my exam has gone and all i can do is wait till my results in two weeks!
     
  7. Mohsin
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    Mohsin Cornered Tiger

    Feb 21, 2010
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    My second poem, wrote this a little while back after i saw an interview of this guy who had acid thrown on his face because of a marriage rejection on one of the Ramadan shows...he was badly disfigured and practically had no nose.

    poem2.jpg
     
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  8. NO 1 AFRIDI FAN
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    NO 1 AFRIDI FAN Talented

    Aug 30, 2011
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    Excellent stuff Mohsin! You should leave law and start writing more often. :p
     
  9. Disco Lemonade
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    Disco Lemonade Design Artist

    Dec 17, 2009
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    Mohsin

    Nicely written. But i think you should be giving us 'your' views on the subject rather then how/what the subject is feeling. You dont know what the subject views are exactly.
     
  10. Mohsin
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    Mohsin Cornered Tiger

    Feb 21, 2010
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    Thanks guys, lol leave law and start writing? I wish!
    Disco Lemonade yeah good point man, I'll bear that in mind
     
  11. pak_fan_4_life
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    pak_fan_4_life Talented

    May 14, 2012
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    are you a proffesional poet, by that i mean have u published anything??
     
  12. Mohsin
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    Mohsin Cornered Tiger

    Feb 21, 2010
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    Nah man, only started like 2 weeks ago lol, and I wouldn't know the first thing about getting it published (not that anyone would want to publish it IMO tbh)
     
  13. pak_fan_4_life
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    pak_fan_4_life Talented

    May 14, 2012
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    But its really good, u should try to get it published, im not kidding!
     
  14. Mohsin
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    Mohsin Cornered Tiger

    Feb 21, 2010
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    ^lol thank you, but like i said i wouldnt know the first thing about getting this published. Plus i dont think people'll be interested in a couple of lines of poetry written by the random guy lol
     
  15. Mohsin
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    Mohsin Cornered Tiger

    Feb 21, 2010
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    Written for Pakistan, on her Independence Day:


    [​IMG]
     
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  16. pak_fan_4_life
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    pak_fan_4_life Talented

    May 14, 2012
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    Brilliant work again, i wont stop admiring it!
     
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  17. Mohsin
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    Mohsin Cornered Tiger

    Feb 21, 2010
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    Enjoy :)
    sign-Love-Revolution.jpg
     
  18. Mohsin
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    Mohsin Cornered Tiger

    Feb 21, 2010
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    Havent written anything in aaaages, couldnt get to sleep last night so, well started writing. Lemme know what you guys (honestly) think.


     
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  19. maddgenius
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    maddgenius Whispering Death

    Oct 6, 2014
    9,754
    A couple of aamads from last year

    Dark, bitter & too hot to handle

    Kia hota tazkara mera us k sawalon main
    Na tha kahin jis k bhoolay bhatkay khayalon main

    Panaah to dhoondna hi thi raat ki siyahi main
    Sulag jatay hain dil k zakhm jab din k ujalon main

    Azal ki pyaas ko sirf zehr hi bhujaye ga
    Barsaat ko be-wajah tarsa itne saalon main

    Ek shakhs ne jala k zinda kar diya mujh ko
    Aag maut hai jhoot tha kitabon k hawalon main


    Khwab Us k Qatil thay

    Falak per chamakte, Sitare jis ki manzil thay
    Madham si roshni karte diye na us k qabil thay

    Faqt ek shakhs ka daakhla hi mamnoo tha
    jahan tamam shehr k log shareek e mehfil thay

    jo kabhi k haafze se khurach kar thay mita diye
    Woh chehra, woh lafz phir bhi har khayal main shamil thay

    Woh khwaab jin ko kehta tha jeenay ki wajah
    Pata chala k wohi khwab us shakhs k qatil thay
     

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