My Poetry Thread

Discussion in 'The Pavilion' started by Mohsin, Jul 30, 2012.

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  1. Mohsin
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    Mohsin Cricistani

    Feb 21, 2010
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    Hey guys, ive been meaning to start writing poetry for a while but havent had the time/havent been bothered tbh. But i came back from Taraveeh last night, and suddenly was in the mood to...well start writing.
    So yeah let me know what you think (be blunt and honest), i know its probably nothing special and quite short but it is my first ever poem lol.


    poem1.jpg
     
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  2. Passionate Pakistani
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    Passionate Pakistani Cricistani

    Jun 10, 2011
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  3. Venerable
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    Venerable Registered

    Jun 22, 2012
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  4. pak_fan_4_life
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    pak_fan_4_life Cricistani

    May 14, 2012
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    Excellent, why arent u my english tuition teacher???
     
  5. Mohsin
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    Mohsin Cricistani

    Feb 21, 2010
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    Thanks guys appreciate it....lol i can be if you offer the right price pak_fan_4_life :D
     
  6. pak_fan_4_life
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    pak_fan_4_life Cricistani

    May 14, 2012
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    Id have given anything but my exam has gone and all i can do is wait till my results in two weeks!
     
  7. Mohsin
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    Mohsin Cricistani

    Feb 21, 2010
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    My second poem, wrote this a little while back after i saw an interview of this guy who had acid thrown on his face because of a marriage rejection on one of the Ramadan shows...he was badly disfigured and practically had no nose.

    poem2.jpg
     
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  8. NO 1 AFRIDI FAN
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    NO 1 AFRIDI FAN Cricistani

    Aug 30, 2011
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    Excellent stuff Mohsin! You should leave law and start writing more often. :p
     
  9. Aunty Virus
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    Aunty Virus Design Artist

    Dec 17, 2009
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    Mohsin

    Nicely written. But i think you should be giving us 'your' views on the subject rather then how/what the subject is feeling. You dont know what the subject views are exactly.
     
  10. Mohsin
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    Mohsin Cricistani

    Feb 21, 2010
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    Thanks guys, lol leave law and start writing? I wish!
    Disco Lemonade yeah good point man, I'll bear that in mind
     
  11. pak_fan_4_life
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    pak_fan_4_life Cricistani

    May 14, 2012
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    are you a proffesional poet, by that i mean have u published anything??
     
  12. Mohsin
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    Mohsin Cricistani

    Feb 21, 2010
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    Nah man, only started like 2 weeks ago lol, and I wouldn't know the first thing about getting it published (not that anyone would want to publish it IMO tbh)
     
  13. pak_fan_4_life
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    pak_fan_4_life Cricistani

    May 14, 2012
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    But its really good, u should try to get it published, im not kidding!
     
  14. Mohsin
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    Mohsin Cricistani

    Feb 21, 2010
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    ^lol thank you, but like i said i wouldnt know the first thing about getting this published. Plus i dont think people'll be interested in a couple of lines of poetry written by the random guy lol
     
  15. Mohsin
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    Mohsin Cricistani

    Feb 21, 2010
    843
    Written for Pakistan, on her Independence Day:


    [​IMG]
     
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  16. pak_fan_4_life
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    pak_fan_4_life Cricistani

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    Brilliant work again, i wont stop admiring it!
     
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  17. Mohsin
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    Mohsin Cricistani

    Feb 21, 2010
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    Enjoy :)
    sign-Love-Revolution.jpg
     
  18. Mohsin
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    Mohsin Cricistani

    Feb 21, 2010
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    Havent written anything in aaaages, couldnt get to sleep last night so, well started writing. Lemme know what you guys (honestly) think.


     
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