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Why is the divorce rate so high, especially in Western countries, if love marriages work?

Discussion in 'The Pavilion' started by Del, Apr 6, 2019.

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  1. Del
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    Del Fantasy Draft Wins: 1

    Dec 21, 2016
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    It's really sad that Divorces are as frequent as of now, as marriages itself!

    In the times of our grandparents , divorces occurred "Once in a blue moon" , and now we hear of them in every second day! Despite not meeting frequently with your partner before marriage, inspite of the strict countenance and attitude of the society in those days how come their commitment stood the test of time? What exactly went wrong with us?

    Discuss!
     
  2. KingOfDoosra
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    KingOfDoosra Sultan of Swing

    Jun 8, 2012
    17,024
    Don't think love/arranged marriages are as big of a factor.

    The main reason is that women in the west are much more independent. If a woman divorces her husband in Pakistan she would have to move back to her parents house and live under their expense. That aside she would also be looked down upon as a talaaq-shuda woman by the local society.

    In the West that same woman would either be working or the government would pay for her expenses as long as she can't find a job, so her divorcing her husband doesn't affect her as she isn't dependant on him.

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  3. Mercenary
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    Mercenary The Lone Wolf

    Dec 17, 2009
    16,711
    As @KingOfDoosra said it's mainly because more women can now live independently of men if they have to, especially in western countries.

    In the past women had to stay with an abusive or free loading husband because of the stigma from society and lack of opportunity for women to make their own money or even own property or have equal legal standing. Nowadays women don't put up with all the crap from dodgy husbands anymore. That's the only difference.

    The same would be true in all countries if women had the same level of opportunity and freedom as they do in western countries.

    Also in non arranged marriages you don't have the same family pressure to stay married as you do when the family arranged the marriage. Just because more arranged marriage couples are still together it doesn't mean they are happy or even want to be together. It's the family pressure that keeps them together.

    Otherwise the figures would probably be similar if not worse.
     
  4. Del
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    Del Fantasy Draft Wins: 1

    Dec 21, 2016
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    I totally get the rational behind influx divorce rate in west but what's the reason of it in Pakistan? There is still a significant different in between women of west vs. Pakistani women.
     
  5. Disco Lemonade
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    Disco Lemonade Design Artist

    Dec 17, 2009
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    well women are getting more and more independent in pakistan aswell. the working women numbers have increased in pakistan.
     
  6. Del
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    Del Fantasy Draft Wins: 1

    Dec 21, 2016
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    I am aware of that, but still its no match of working women of west.
     
  7. Patriot
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    Patriot Kaptaan

    Oct 8, 2014
    26,190
    love isnt real

    I get the reason you created this thread.

    It has got nothing to do with how they are independent or can earn the same as their men counterparts

    its basically the love in their relationship isnt real. A lot of women / men fell in love and get married then they realize they arent in love / someone cheated etc etc and they break up.

    if love was real, divorce would never come up for discussion in the first place.

    men / women in west change partners like mobile, every other person in western country has been with at least 2-3 partners minimum.
     
  8. Patriot
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    Patriot Kaptaan

    Oct 8, 2014
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    I disagree.

    Divorces happen in Pakistan fyi and lots of them.

    Its all down to willing to do sacrifices for the one you love and stick by them.

    Very few in west now live by this code.

    Desi people have made this mandatory hence we dont see divorces here as often but they do happen in high numbers
     
  9. godzilla
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    godzilla Smooth Operator

    May 12, 2016
    3,193
    I reckon there’s lots of conflicting variables that underpin these trends. I don’t have solid numbers but recall reading that arranges vs love marriages amongst desis in the west have similar success/failure probabilities so don’t think it’s the method of marriage that determines success particularly.

    Equally, in the past it’s undoubtedly true that women would have suffered injustice because of social stigma.

    However, that’s also a very convenient excuse for secularists to hide behind. It’s easy to blame legitimate problems from the past and ignore the severe underlying disintegration that modern secularism is driving.

    One of the main issues in my opinion is the pendulum of gender rights and roles has swung from one extreme of patriarchical oppression to another extreme of denatured homogenisation.

    There is an economic and moral incentive for women to break free - as with all things modern and secular, the preponderant ethical acceptance of drugs, drink, promiscuity and commercialism, the data of fall out and social blow back is still being generated - it is so new a phenomenon.

    But early indications seem to be that it’s devestatingly negative. Gender pay for example, a massive media misnomer and deliberate conflation with equal pay, will force women to work harder and reduce their choices, not increase them. That will result in less assume true economic benefit. It’s like a western feminist screaming for equality of women’s rights in the east. When they are rebutted by an eastern women saying that she would rather adopt domestic duties for financial dependency rather than be liberated in order to work 100 hour weeks to pay for a small bedsit in a busy city, they are at a loss.

    A forced equalisation of gender ethos can already be seen in ballooning psychological and mental illness in young school girls.

    It’s like throwing a bunch of kids into a buffet and allowing them all to eat cake if they want. It’s very naive and easy to say this is a paradigm of freedom and liberty and the evils of old ways restricting choice are past, whilst the children gorge themselves on chocolate cake.

    It’ll take a few years for them to all keel over with heart attacks before there will be a reappraisal which will most likely to be medication as opposed to a recognition that human being are built with variety in their nature, including gender differences.

    My view at any rate.
     
  10. Gotham Cronie
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    Gotham Cronie Youngsta Beauty

    Jan 14, 2015
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    What is the divorce rate you are referring to?
     
  11. Fireworks11
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    Fireworks11 Fantasy Draft Wins: 1

    Sep 22, 2012
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    Lack of tolerance. Marriage is about compromise, which many people fail to understand.
     
  12. s_h_a_f
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    s_h_a_f Moderator

    Dec 26, 2011
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    Like they say, you get to know the person for real once you start living together.
     
  13. Disco Lemonade
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    Disco Lemonade Design Artist

    Dec 17, 2009
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    i wouldnt use the word compromise, i would say marriage is about being compassionate and empathetic.

    i was getting confused that how could we all agree that the increasing divorce rates is due to women now being more independent and ambitious.
     
  14. Del
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    Del Fantasy Draft Wins: 1

    Dec 21, 2016
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  15. amirfanforlife
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    amirfanforlife Smooth Operator

    Apr 19, 2012
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    I kind of agree with Merc that it does come down to family pressures in our culture whereas for a lot of people in the West they don’t really care what anyone else thinks. It’s just the way we have been brought up... with this mentality that women should endure injustice and be patient and that the man will eventually change etc. But I think a lot of Pakistani women are now moving away from this.
     
  16. pat
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    pat Banned

    Nov 25, 2018
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    So things are moving int he right direction.
     
  17. Energy
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    Energy Cornered Tiger

    Apr 22, 2012
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    Divorce rates are high in Pakistan too we just don't hear about it a lot.
     
  18. ElRaja
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    ElRaja Talented

    Jan 12, 2013
    2,775
    cos people live long and women are gaining financial independence.

    its one thing to love until death does one part, if u twenty odd and u likely to be dead by 50, its completely another if you both gonna live till 80 odd.

    women dont need men for financial support, at least in the west, so they don't put up with the exceptionalism of the patriarch of the family like women of previous generations did.

    also people getting married later so less time to adapt, and people more set in their ways.

    lack of any particular significance of marriage in western society, one of my closest freind's knew his wife for pbly 15 years before they got married, didn't change their lifestyle at all really.
     

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